There's an Elephant in the Room (and It's called Love)

Yesterday was exciting. I invited the new African Elephant over for drinks. They just brought him in last week, and I heard he's really intelligent. So I had to prepare.
First thing I did was pick up the thickest book I owned. But I got sick of that quick. So I decided to just get in the shower. I could at least look fantastic, right?

Anyway, so there I am taking my normal 40 minute shower, and I hear someone yelling at the door. So I stepped out and found 6 of the angriest zebras you'll ever see, glaring at me.

"Gawd Pee Pee, you take so long in the shower! It only takes us a few minutes," one of them said.
I was appalled (for a number of reasons). So I said, "That's because I've got parts people actually want washed!"

And that shut them up fast. That is until I had to tell them I'd used up all the hot water. I knew they'd be mad. I felt like Chuck Woolery telling the crowd to wait till next week to see how the last date turned out.

"Guys, I used up all the hot water," I said quietly.
"Pee Pee, you're such a jerk!" they yelled.
"The hell with you, man! I think I'm worth it!" I cried back.
And with that I stormed out of the bathroom and got ready for my date.

Well, it wasn't really a date- but we drank, talked, and awkwardly made out- so I guess it kind of was.
Anyway, so there we were drinking boxed wine, and we start talking about Love. He immediately went into this rage saying, "Love is just a bunch of chemicals in the brain shooting signals to the rest of the body. It's a neuro-chemical con job, man."
And I thought, "Looks like somebody's been rejected once or twice."

But I thought he was cute.
So anyway, a few Franzias later, I thought things were going well enough, so I came out and asked him if he believed in God. He said, "I think God could be anything, man. He could be, like, a cloud in the sky."

I was impressed. "That's deeper than an existentialist philosopher reciting poetry at the bottom of an ocean," I joked.

And then I leaned in to kiss him, and he sprayed me with water. Because he's an elephant.