Cosmo's Got Nothin on Men

I was reading Cosmo today, and this story about "100 Ways to Please Your Man" caught my eye. I thought it was odd, because it seems to me- having a set of male genitalia- there are only 5 ways to please a man:
1) Tell him about your day and tell him your feelings (secret: Your man wants to hear about all your problems)

2) Give him directions for everything, even if he doesn't ask (secret: Men love being told what to do and how to do them)

3) Take him shopping with you (secret: If your man likes you, he'll like watching you try on clothes too)

4) After your man just bought you stuff, cuddle with him until you fall asleep (secret: Your man loves buying you things and expects nothing in return, not even sex)

5) Openly discuss your past relationships every chance you get (secret: Your man wants to hear all about your ex-lovers)

So there you have it, 5 ways to please your man. Thank me later, girls!!